What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why is it that women are stronger than men nowadays?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

How does one succeed in life?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What was your best sex experience that still makes you horny?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Women like what they hear while men like what they see, it that true?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why is porn so addictive?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Is the 4B movement's aggressiveness against men for seeing women as mantelpieces valid?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

What was the most challenging shift you experienced as an ER physician? Can you describe the details and reasons behind it?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Why do narcissists and especially covert narcissists always play the victim?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

What's your take on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? How has it affected you?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What are some of the differences between the Democratic and Republican parties? What policies does each party advocate for? What groups do these parties usually represent?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why do wokes use words like "homophobes" when they don't know what that means? Do they realize that no one is afraid of them?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.